By Abdu Labaran Malumfashi.
18-2-2025.
I had never physically met or seen her, neither was I opportune to meet or see her famous father (who I much later learned to resembled his daughter in the height department), so the day I saw Hajiya Hadiza Bala Usman for the first time, I made a real ass (with due apologies to the ladies) of myself.
Some time in early 2015, Hajiya Hadiza came with the advance party of candidate Muhammadu Buhari’s campaign visit to the palace of the Emir of Katsina, HRH Alhaji (Dr. AbdulMumini Kabir Usman.
Immediately the palace guards (dogarai) saw her, they rushed almost falling over one another to collect her shoes and handbag, and being there too, plus the fact that I was a ‘good gentleman’ (I am still one, though some people do not think so, and nothing will convince them that I am one, except my promise not to . . . again), I quickly went to her ‘aid’ by stupidly giving them N20,000 to share between themselves, but pleading with them to allow the lady alone, and not make victim of their traditional begging at the palace.
Little did I know that the palace guards had recognised her as the daughter of the house, not as the stranger that I stupidly thought she was to them. My unthinking might have been informed by the fact that whenever I went to the palace, some of them rushed to collect my shoes and bring it up to my feet (literally) when I was leaving, because of the substantial amount of money that I gave. Why else, since I was a nobody, who was known or noticed by no one in the palace.
But Hajiya Hannatu Musa Musawa I knew, though peripherally, courtesy of her several visits in Abuja to my then principal. Several times I saw her, but never invited to be part of her open visits to my principal, even though I suspected that it had something to do with writing a good PR articles for him, with a pen name. She was (I guess she still is) an excellent writer, with a mastery of the English Language.
Hadiza Bala Usman is Tinubu’s Special Adviser to the President on Policy and Coordination, as well as the head of Central Policy Coordination Unit (CPCU). She was also the Managing Director and CEO of the Nigerian Ports Authority (NPA) during the first term of President Muhammadu Buhari. Hannatu Musa Musawa, on the other hand, a lawyer and former wife of Alhaji AbdusSamadu Rabi’u (BUA), is the current Minister of Art, Culture, Tourism and Creative Economy.
Both their fathers, one a renowned academician, Dr. Bala Usman, and the other a famous politician, Alhaji Musa Musawa, hailed from the same local government, from the same Musawa town.
By the way, it would appear that the habit of most women is often not to show appreciation for good done to them, but prefer to ‘bite the finger that fed them’. I politely mean to say that many of the ladies do not show gratitude, preferring instead, to be otherwise, to the extent of claiming that one has “never done anything worthwhile”, to them. Some of them might even regret ever meeting one, not to talk about marrying someone, if they happen to eventually tie the knot.
Given the voluntary admission of some of them, the important thing for the man is never to fall sick (which is really out of human hands). Presently, one happens to be forced into living the life of a hermit, the better understood description being a recluse (not by choice, though). Someone then becomes the object of constant quarrel with her-in-doors, where every statement from you is considered as madness, from a madman who has nothing better to do but to quarrel with everyone around.
Because of someone’s temporary disability, one is blamed for every bad thing under the sun, particularly the ill behaviour of the grown up male children. Your instructions are the last thing to be obeyed, since you ‘are only a lazy layabout’ who has no reason to talk where he is not involved. Even where one is involved, he has no right to complain of any ‘wrongdoing’ by a member of the household, especially the new ‘head’ of the family. The new head of the family never ever does anything wrong, even when it is against the Devine Instructions of God.
Again, doing virtually nothing that puts food on the table, and relying on the other half to provide almost everything, including feeding (which happens to be the man’s duty). It is then that the other half’s real self would become very clear.
I say all these things from my personal experience, PLUS the voluntary confessions of many married women, widows, and divorced single mothers. By the way, such confessions may appear to side with the man.
But the other face of the coin says it differently. According to many women, it is the man who uses and dumps the other half, and go on with life elsewhere. I mean with the ‘girl friend’, which is today referred to as the ‘side chick’, in modern parlance.
Whoever may be at fault, the fact remains that wives should never see their in-laws, or the siblings and other relatives of their husbands, as their competitors, but as relations to genuinely love and be very close to. That way, interest of the wife would be protected by them all the time, and best served most of the time.
It really pains me very much to think that my parents in-laws, their offspring, and their relatives would be looking at me as an ungrateful person who never appreciated their kindness. I will very much hate to be held responsible for what I did not do, and even if I did, was certainly not done knowingly or deliberately to harm their feelings.
May God prevent us from knowingly offending others, least of all those we genuinely love. May He also shield us from falling victims of unfriendly behaviours from anyone we know or associate with.
Malumfashi wrote from Katsina.
